To bring you up to speed, here is an overview of the last two months:
1. Teach For America's Induction week for the South Louisiana region in Baton Rouge (06/06-06/11)
2. Monica, my cousin, gets married to David Khirallah (06/12)
3. INSTITUTE BEGINS (06/13)
4. Weekend in Memphis!!
5. INSTITUTE ENDS! (07/17)
6. Arrive back in San Antonio, leave to the Texas coast for Dad's birthday getaway (07/17)
7. Back to San Antonio (07/20)
8. Pack up and say good bye to S.A. (07/21)
9. Move to Baton Rouge with Mom (07/22)
10. More TFA orientation (07/24-08/01)
11. Hired, un-hired, re-hired, then un-hired by Rosenwald Elementary
12. Move in to 550 Pierce (our new home!) with Evan Nogay (W. VA), Aaron Massey (E. St. Louis/"the hood"), and Sean McGrath (Philly)
13. Interview & Wait
Listing off what happens in life really misses the essence of those moments, and it's what happens to be what happens between those moments or led up to them that ingrain those unforgettable memories. The moments that stick out the most from this summer and are appropriate to post online take place between #3-#5.
Question you might ask yourself: "What is Institute?" Institute is a five-week training program for new Teach For America corps members to learn every facet of the classroom culture and how to teach. There are multiple Institutes held every summer across the U.S. where new corps members (CMs) work in the classroom and basically learn how to be a teacher. Institute placements go according to your region (I'm in South Louisiana). TFA placed Charlotte, North Carolina, Mississippi Delta, Alabama, Houston, and South Louisiana regions in the Mississippi Delta for the summer because that is an area which parallels the regions we will actually be teaching. Those regions all rank towards the bottom of the educational totem pole and have similar demographics. With political correctness, I'd say this is a rural area faced with economic hardship and a definite need for a new wave of energetic teachers ready to improve the educational system. Because this is my blog and I say whatever I want, looking out my car window while driving down the highway I would ask myself, "What year is it here?" and "Who the f*** would ever want to live here?"
When Institute began, the new TFA corps members were told that the layout of our training would consist of teacher observation and then some application of our new teaching skills. Before Institute training began, we are given Pre-Readings meant to help us prepare for situations we need to be ready to handle. On arrival day, TFA seemed to be on their game with preparation, having the living situation fully prepped, meals included, an ample supply of educational materials at full access, and full schedules for our entire five-week teaching boot camp. Overall, moving to Cleveland, MS and transitioning back to the dorm life at Delta State University was made easy by TFA.
After a few days of settling, last minute preparation for our first days, some curriculum sessions to help us plan our lessons, and opportunities to meet other corps members in other regions, we walked into our first days with a fun surprise from TFA. There was no teacher observation. No relief from experience teachers to help you manage your class. Instead, we were thrown into the lions' den. From the first day on, this is what our days looked like:
4:15am -- Wake up
4:50am -- Out the door in professional dress
5:00am -- Dining hall opens, I inhale breakfast, and pack lunch
5:23am -- On the bus
5:30am -- Bus leaves
6:20am -- Arrive at Manning Elementary
6:30-7:30am -- Prep classroom
7:30-8:00am -- Students trickle into class
8:00-10:30am -- Reading block OR Curriculum sessions
10:30am-12:45pm -- Math block OR Curriculum sessions
12:45pm -- Dismissal
1:00-3:00pm -- Curriculum session
3:15-4:15pm -- Work time
4:15-5:15pm -- Bus back to Delta State Univ.
5:15-6:00pm -- Dinner
6:00-12:00pm -- Prep for next day
...Rinse and repeat.
The next question you might be asking is, "What are Curriculum sessions?" These are lectures given by TFA administrators and former corps members about every facet of teaching. They instruct us on the culture and environment of the classroom, how to lesson plan for math and reading, how to manage a classroom, how to invest our students, how to manage behavior with positive recognition and proper correction, and how to address certain cultural differences unique within our regions. Institute was split between these sessions where we learned about how to be a great teacher and then applied the new skills to our classroom.
A third question you might be wondering is, "Why did it take you so long to prepare for the next day's lessons?" Transitioning from the academic thought to an elementary mindset took me longer than several, which makes teaching simple concepts difficult because they need to be "student-friendly". For the first two weeks, dumbing down lessons was my biggest challenge, which led to bad execution. Teaching a student how to identify the pattern in 24,20,16,__,__ might seem simple, but when students don't understand how to count backwards, the lesson faces a serious challenge. Instances like these were common, but they reflect the achievement gap that I had only read about in readings. Seeing it in person was different. It made planning a tedious process that I slaved over because I had to be ready for any curve balls thrown my way.
In the first two weeks, my failed lessons led to crying, disruption, students under tables, yelling, lost tempers, increased anxiety, lost sleep, and worst of all -- the feeling of utter failure. In one instance, anxiety, frustration and exhaustion all peaked at once into a burst of tears. Reconsideration even crossed my mind.
After those grueling two weeks, I got better though. My body became accustomed to the three hours of sleep per night. My daily schedules had been planned out to every 15 minutes in order for me to optimize every waking moment. Coffee became my new best friend and my students became my cubs -- the little guys I cared about more than anything. With time, my skills grew and confidence in teaching grew even faster. Past the gauntlet, I started to understand the tendencies, strengths, and weaknesses of every student. My procedures in class became more explicit as I learned more how much students need to know exactly what to do at every moment of the day. With trial and painful error, it started to come together.
After investing so much into my students and fighting through the storm of Institute, I grew to love them and knew them like the back of my hand. Jemarcus Young could not stay in one spot for the life of him! When Nigel's mom didn't give him his ADHD meds, the boy could not behave if he tried. Devonte' was the runt of the class, but he sure was the bravest. George Conaway...a little pain in the ass sometimes, but I have to admit that kid cracked me up. And Amari Malone, the boy who spent the first two weeks either crying, under his desk, or both. Despite their moments, I can never forget their faces. As for Xavier, Jahiem, Markeva, Markyla, and Gary Coleman (haha!), they were the students I could rely on for positive recognition to bring the class back to order (e.g. "Thank you Jahiem for being in perfect Active Listening Position. O Markeva has her eyes on me. Xavier is ready to learn. Jemarcus, leave the cricket alone and sit down!"). But regardless of how well or badly they acted at times, every one of them showed incredible potential.
It's crazy how looking back not too long ago, I was on course to be working alongside my friends from college who are all working at marketing firms, corporate powerhouses, dot coms, and reputable businesses in New York City and Boston, and spend their weekends at promotional events glad handing clients and potential new clients. Instead, I'm here in Baton Rouge, stuck on #13 of my summer list. Am I regretful?...Not the least. But I am dying to have a classroom!
Several corps members quit during Institute to take jobs elsewhere. At those moments, I cannot help but think about the kids that are abandoned by people who are supposed to help them grow. All modesty aside for a moment, the students need me -- they need good, strong teachers. Sure, I can quit at any time to work at a marketing firm that would pay better, but I'd be leaving kids who need someone who can show them how to live and think in order to thrive in the future. That in itself makes #13 the most grueling. I miss the ridiculous shit some kids said. I can't wait to have those moments of panic where I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing. But most of all, I can't wait for those 'aha' moments when students have an expression that shows a light bulb just lit up. I can't wait to show kids what they're made of.
I can't wait for #14.
